59. Teargassed - portrait painting by Lisa Sonora from the series 100 Portraits in 100 Days: A Quarantine Diary

59. Teargassed

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Like I said at the beginning: painting helps me integrate everything I am thinking and feeling, in a wordless way.

I think about what’s going on in the world and how people are affected and being with it all. This project began as a quarantine visual journal of sorts. But I’ve been quarantined for nearly three months now and the target of when this might be over keeps moving. 

It’s all I can do to just keep my own shit together. Rationally, I know that I’m not alone in this. Emotionally, that doesn’t really help me so much.

So I’m grappling with the news of the day, while wrestling with the very things that are so easy for me to encourage in my students: keep going, don’t surrender to futility, your work matters.

Making a painting every day and journaling about it helps, even if I think there’s absolutely no way I can do it that day. And even though a chorus of inner critics is making a loud opera out of my worst fears: You’re going to be alone forever struggling against the same tidal wave of existential bullshit, hating yourself.

These small, original portraits are painted on top pages cut and upcycled from my sketchbooks.

This portrait is from the series, 100 Portraits in 100 Days: A Quarantine Diary. 

What began as a creative challenge to focus my energies during the first weeks of solo quarantine in March 2020, evolved into a diary of my experience. 

PAINTING DETAILS: 

Materials: Acrylic, Ink, Wax, Graphite on Paper

Size: 5 X 7 Inches (13 x 18 CM)

Unframed. 

This is a signed and authenticated original painting by Lisa Sonora.